Wholesale Only

DENIS, the manager, 50s, full beard, ring
CARLOS, late 30s, go-t, skull belt buckle, ring
BILL, 40s, stash, more than a beer gut
RYAN, 20s, homely, physically fit
BRUCE, 40s, calm and hushed, even dopey, works the forklift
GABRIEL, an angel

(6:30AM.
Lights out in store.
DENIS unlocks the door and enters. The door sounds that chipper, two-toned, electronic, modern-age bell noise when opened.)

BRUCE
Morning.

DENIS (startled)
Woah!

BRUCE
Just me Denis.

DENIS (turning the lights on)
Yes. Good morning Bruce.

BRUCE
Morning.

DENIS (flipping the “CLOSED” sign)
Bruce, do you have a key?

BRUCE
Nope.

DENIS
… Okay. (beat) Okay, I’m going to see what we need more of from the warehouse.

BRUCE
I’ll bring the fork around.

DENIS
Okay.

(Both exit.
Enter CARLOS.)

DENIS(off)
You’re late.

CARLOS
Morning Denis.

DENIS (off)
Carlos. Morning. Could ya turn on the counter?

CARLOS
Yup. (turning on the counter’s computers) You got the coffee going?

DENIS (off)
Not yet.

(Enter BILL.)

DENIS (con’t, off)
You’re late.

BILL
Good morning to you too.

CARLOS
Hell Bill, could you get some coffee going.

BILL
Can I come in please. Can I get in the door and settled.

(BILL joins CARLOS behind the counter, stacks whatever paper he can find into a pile, and puts a pen in his shirt pocket.)

CARLOS
Should I make the coffee?

BILL
No. Fine. I’m making it. Not like you couldn’t have made it.

CARLOS
Well -

BILL
I’m already doing it.

CARLOS
Fine.

(BILL is at the coffee machine stage right.
Pause.)

BILL (to Carlos)
We need filters.

CARLOS
Tell Denis.

BILL (calling)
We need filters.

DENIS (off)
Right.

BILL (to Carlos)
Everything on schedule so far?

(CARLOS stares at his monitor and doesn't respond.)

Carlos?

CARLOS
Need somethin’?

BILL
No. Coffee’s ready.

CARLOS
I take milk and two sugars.

BILL
Yeah.

(BILL takes his coffee behind the counter and CARLOS goes to make his.
Enter RYAN.)

RYAN
Mornin’ guys.

DENIS (off)
You’re late. Mornin’.

CARLOS
Yo Ryan.

RYAN
Hey Carlos. Waiting on any orders yet?

CARLOS
Man, you know those guys are still in bed.

RYAN
Yeah. Coffee smells good.

BILL
You’re welcome.

RYAN
Thanks Bill.

(RYAN goes to the coffee as CARLOS returns to the counter.)

RYAN (calling)
Need help Denis?

DENIS (off)
Have your coffee.

RYAN
Then?

DENIS(entering left)
Then tell Bruce I need at least six more of the hi-speed indoor units - you got a pen?

RYAN (retrieving pen and pad from shirt)
Yup.

DENIS
QCIC09A.

RYAN
Hm.

DENIS
And QCIC12A

RYAN
Yup.

DENIS
And... that’s it for now.

RYAN
Yup.

(RYAN finishes making his coffee and exits.)

DENIS
Morning Bill.

BILL
Hey Denis, sleep well?

DENIS
Not enough.

BILL
I hear ya. (to CARLOS) How was your night?

CARLOS
Drunk and disorderly.

BILL
Ha.

(BRUCE enters.)

CARLOS
Mornin’ Bruce, how’s you?

BRUCE
Oh, yeah, keepen on. You?

CARLOS
Can’t complain.

BILL
Yet.

BRUCE
Hey Bill.

BILL
Hiya Bruce.

BRUCE (to Denis)
We’re all set ‘round back.

DENIS
Okay. ... Okay.

(Powerout. Sunlight comes in slightly from the front door.)

CARLOS
Oh for Christ’s sake - this again!

DENIS
Bruce, you wana-

BRUCE
Just a sec-

(He lights a large flashlight and aimlessly scans the room.)

BILL
It’s still unbelievable this place has no windows.

DENIS
It’s not a store, -

ALL
It’s a supply house!

DENIS
That’s right!

BILL
Oh but if these walls could talk.

CARLOS
What? They would recite product code numbers and measurements of PVC.

BILL
And god damned contractor’s complaints!

CARLOS
Tumbling, sirens.

BILL
Not so many sirens anymore.

CARLOS
You sure?

BILL
Also –

(A toilet flushes loudly.)

DENIS (re-entering)
What?

CARLOS
In the dark?

DENIS
I could hear it was hitting the water... after a second. No one has tried to turn us back on? Come on guys.

(BRUCE points the flashlight upstage and all move in that direction. Then, suddenly: pressure gages squeal, pips rattle, drills spin, sirens sound, liquids spill, the printers print, the front door ring chimes, lights flicker, whole racks scrape back and forth - the works. Then everything stops sans the flickering lights.)

CARLOS
... Oh hell no.

BILL
Yes. Let’s go.

(As they move toward the door it slams shut. A ring that is the ominous opposite of the original sounds.)

DENIS
Uhhh....

BILL
What?!

DENIS
Uhhh....

CARLOS
Christ.

DENIS
I don’t know what to do! I don’t know!

CARLOS
Yeah. I’m crushed.

BRUCE
Wow.

BILL
Ah! Bruce!! Bruce I damn near shit myself!

BRUCE
Sorry.

CARLOS
Ok. ... Ok.

BILL
Ok? ... Ok.

DENIS
The circuit breaker. We should just keep going.

CARLOS
Ok.

BILL
Ok.

(All three start to move. There is a bellowing, cavernous sound that stops CARLOS and BILL.)

DENIS
Just keeeeeep moving.

CARLOS (blessing himself)
I think it wants us to confess!

DENIS
Keeeeep going.

BILL
I don’t understand. We have to get it. I know it. That’s just how these things are. We have to get out of here.

CARLOS
That made no sense.

BILL
This from a man who prays.

CARLOS
Better that-

(A thud.)

DENIS
I’m close to the switch!

BRUCE (turning the flashlight on himself)
Do we think it is afraid of the dark?

DENIS
Not now Bruce! Light this way!

Carlos (to BILL)
I though he had a point.

DENIS
I’ll have to find a latter first.

(Loud clattering.)

CARLOS (to BILL)
Poor old guy.

BILL
Alright! I’ll come!

(They move up toward DENIS, BRUCE follows them, his light becoming muffled as it approaches their backs. A few mumbled moments pass. Then full power is restored. The place is every bit the mess it sounded like it would be. All four men slowly approach center moving as a terrified, rotating clump.)

BRUCE
That was....

BILL
Yes, it was.

BRUCE
That was...

DENIS
It might still be.

BRUCE
This is...

CARLOS
Unnatural.

BRUCE
And - and this is - this is scary.

CARLOS
Okay. Why? Why is this happening?

BILL
To assume a reason seems a bit presumptuous.

DENIS
We have to try to get out of here.

(No one moves.)

BILL
There’snoplacelikehome, There’snoplacelikehome, there’snoplacelikehome...

CARLOS
On three.

DENIS
One...

BILL
Two...

(RYAN enters through the front door. Original ring sounds.)

DENIS
Ryan!

RYAN
What happened?

BILL
Go back out!

(RYAN goes to open the door but it’s suddenly locked.)

RYAN
Now how the-

DENIS
People can come in but on one can leave!

CARLOS
Abandon hope-

BILL
Shut up fool!

RYAN (doing it as he says it)
Guess we should turn the sign back then.

(The room becomes inhabited again.)

CARLOS
What in hell does it want?

RYAN
... What on Earth...

DENIS
Come here!!

(RYAN joins the others. It stops.)

RYAN
So. There’s a plan?

BILL
What are we calling it?

CARLOS (uga-buga)
It has many names...

DENIS
Who cares!

BRUCE
It. I think it knows us. It seems. I think it knows.

CARLOS
It does seem like it knows us.

RYAN
And doesn’t like me.

BILL
We should think of a deliberately unthreatening name.

RYAN
Blooper!

CARLOS
Nice.

RYAN
That’s my fish’s name.

BILL
You name your fish?

CARLOS
Perfect.

DENIS
That’s your fish’s name?

RYAN
Yes. Yes.

BRUCE
Did you name it Ryan?

RYAN
My sister.

BILL
That’s strange.

CARLOS
You don’t name your fish?

BILL
No.

DENIS
Are we really doing this? … No, I don’t name them.

BRUCE
Yes, I do. I name some of my tools too.

DENIS
Right.

RYAN
Why not Bill? Would you ever just call a dog by “dog”?

BILL
I’ve never needed to call a fish.

CARLOS
They’re alive.

DENIS
They’re really more of a visual stimulus you have to feed.

BRUCE
They’re alive.

BILL
So are plants. You name trees?

RYAN
No.

BRUCE
Uh, guys…

BILL (to Carlos)
And you?

CARLOS
Fish move.

DENIS
So do-

BRUCE
You-.

DENIS
And also-

CARLOS
They clearly deserve a name.

BRUCE
What doesn’t?

RYAN
A shit rose.

DENIS
Which smells like?

RYAN
Just sweet.

(CARLOS makes a brake for the front door pulling on its locked handle tirelessly and slamming his body against it.
They rush to him and restrain him.)

BRUCE
We got you.

CARLOS
Okay. Yes. We’ve got this. We can do this.

DENIS
You’re all right?

CARLOS
Course.

BRUCE
Did any of you know it before today?

(Silence. Then:)

RYAN
Well shit.

BILL
... We’ve all lived so far.

DENIS
Did we all cause this?

(Silence. Then:)

CARLOS
Talk about in it together.

RYAN
Yeah, one for all... ... heh, and all for one.

DENIS
That’s us - wholesale only.

BRUCE
I’m not so scared anymore.

BILL
There’s a comforting thought.

BRUCE
We’ve got all of us.

DENIS
It’s got all of us.

CARLOS (yelling)

What do you want?!

RYAN
The printers.

BILL
I think work can wait!

RYAN
No. They’re on!

(RYAN rushes to the printers and grabs the printed page from one, looks at it, then takes the page from the others.)

They’re all the same.

CARLOS
Come back here!

DENIS
Read it!

RYAN (reading)
Am I dead? Love, Gabriel. (beat) Same on every page. Am I dead? Love, Gabriel.

CARLOS
… That’s gonna be an affirmative there champ.

(The room becomes inhabited.)

I’m sorry! Forgive me!

(The room calms.)

DENIS
How did it find its way – How did you find your way here?

(No response.)

BRUCE
So. I’d say we’re off to a good start.



A genetics laboratory. It is both the same actors and characters superimposed on a new profession and circumstance: